Something Left Unsaid


First published April 28, 2011

A friend of mine died recently.  During one of my many visitations with him in the hospital during his waning days he said to me, “I sure will miss everyone…”.  I pondered this declaration and strove to reply thoughtfully.   At last I mumbled something about keeping up the good fight, unwilling to accept the underlying premise that death was imminent and inevitable.  My response was pathetic. I have given his statement some thought since and I have come to a conclusion, the wisdom of which, alas, I can no longer impart to my dying friend.          
I wish I had replied thus, “No you won’t.  Consciousness is either retained, or it isn’t, after death.  If it isn’t, then of course, you won’t miss anyone or anything.  You won’t even miss your own consciousness.  If consciousness is retained then consider the following:  Firstly, I suspect the experience will be so thrilling and so diverting that you won’t miss anyone.  Second, you will be unfettered by the illusion of time.  The universe, I suspect, exists an entirety in a single moment and “everyone else” will already be with you.  If the illusion of time is not shattered, then, in contrast to eternity, it will seem a very brief interval, indeed, before they join you.”   

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